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When Does Infidelity Occur?

 

While infidelity can occur at anytime in a relationship, there are certain times when it is more likely to occur than others. In addition, there are certain relationship factors which can dramatically increase the potential for infidelity.

Throughout the life of nearly all relationships, there are four timetable events which can breed infidelity.

After the First Year of Marriage. This generally is a time at which most people would not consider the likelihood of infidelity to be that great. For this reason, it is also the time when affairs are the least detected.

After the first year of marriage, the whirlwind ends, and routine begins to set in. The emotional high that both partners had been experiencing is gone. This leaves a void. It is similar to the effects of drugs. Once you are high and come back down, you want to get high again. The new husband or wife may no longer consistently supply what is needed to find that high.

Affairs occurring after the first year of marriage are almost never detected, and are typically just flings. There is no real emotional attachment to the other person and the cheating partner can still feel love their new husband or wife. Regardless, if it happens here, the chances of it happening again later on in the relationship have increased substantially.

After the First Child is Born. This occurrence can sometimes be blended in with the previous scenario, as many couples may have their first child after the first year of marriage. Aside from that, the reasons between the two can be very different.

Children change a relationship no matter how you look at it. And the first child is always more traumatic than the rest. It brings about stress, fatigue, and the need to give the majority of your attention to someone other than your husband or wife. While affairs after the first year of marriage are brought about by an individuals feelings towards himself or herself, affairs after the first child are brought on by the couples feelings towards each other.

The 5th to 7th Year. This is widely referred to as the seven year itch. It does not imply that at exactly the seven year point in a marriage, someone will have an affair. What is does mean is that somewhere around this time, it may. This is due to the relationship running its natural course, and achieving the goals which had been set. A couple gets married, has kids, buys their dream house and establishes their careers. So what's left now? Doing the same thing day in and day out for the rest of their lives? Growing old and bored together? The anticipation of greater things to come is gone.

This scenario is the most common cause of all affairs. A man or woman may feel that the "project is completed" and nothing is left to do but sit and watch the days pass. They are bored, unhappy or just plain tired of living the American dream. A new house may be purchased, perhaps a new car. Hey, lets have another baby. Anything to add some excitement. But the rush from these quick fixes is short-lived and bittersweet at best.

Affairs occurring at this stage in the relationship are often the most damaging. The cheating individual traditionally develops a deep bond with the other person. The faithful mate will question the others fidelity more than at any other point. Affairs occurring during this period will continue for the longest period of time as well.

Middle Age. Also known as the mid-life crisis. This is where the children are all grown and have left an empty nest. At this point, both men and women begin to question their lot in life. They are essentially back where they started; a couple living together with no children to care for. Except now they have around twenty years of experience with each other. This lends itself to the question of whether they want to spend another twenty plus years with the same individual.

This second childhood so to speak, brings around noticeable changes in both men and women. A man might buy a sports car, a woman might feel the need for a new youthful hairstyle. Both may start exercising or purchase a new, "younger" wardrobe. Whatever the particulars, they will not be doing this for the benefit of the other. They will be doing it for themselves as much as for anyone other than their mate.

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